When you think about it, zombies are very eco-friendly. They don't drive gas-guzzlers. They don't clear-cut rainforest for hamburgers. They don't drink bottled water. True, they eat brains, which require people who do do all those things. But what are zombies going to do if they can't eat the living? Die of hunger? Plus, zombies are biodegradable.
I think that instead of turning your lights out for a single hour, true environmentalists should be looking for ways to turn into zombies.
Which, of course, is the biggest problem with environmentalism. Conservation is good, right? But it's also open-ended. One can always conserve more. The person who turns off their lights when not in use can be upstaged by the one who installs CF lightbulbs, who in turn can be upstaged by the person who lives in a cage and clubs things in the dark. Now, I'm as much a fan of environmentalism as the next guy, but you can't deny there is a competitive wing of environmentalists that makes people feel bad about taking small steps. But to have eco-conservation succeed on a significant scale, everybody (mostly) has to be willing to do it.
Unless it is something that is transmitted with 100% virulence by a single bite...
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Eco-Zombies
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3 comments:
Don't tempt me! Whenever I see those people sitting in their cars, idling their at-the-best-of-times-15MPG engines while they take a nap, I want to bite them...
This issue came up in one of my classes last week. In response to my typical "anybody do anything exciting since last class?" question, a student volunteered that he and another student in the class went to LA to go dumpster-diving for surplus vegan mayonnaise.
Freegans aren't quite zombies, and they're certainly proactive anti-consumerists, but I have to admit that the practice squicks me a tad bit. Having already had the pleasure of hosting salmonella and giardia, I'm not too keen on discovering new microfauna in my dumpster crops.
On the other hand, the intentional zombie plague would seem to be a sustainable solution that would also allow us to balance the national budget by reducing expenditures in education and social welfare programs to near-zero levels.
Freegans are fascinating. What a great political commentary on the Green Revolution -- we have so much food, that given a little effort one can eat -- and well! -- without paying a dime. And, they are prepared to survive the apocalypse.
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