Snow typologies from a pedestrian

It's snowing again. That's not inherently surprising, since this is the midwest in February. But it does give one a chance to create a model of urban society based on why people don't shovel their sidewalks.

Few are the neighbors who shovel completely and in a timely fashion. The rest leave the snow where it falls, forcing the handicapped to ride their wheelchairs in the middle of the road, parents to pull strollers backwards over the impassible sidewalks, and everyone to slip on ice hidden under the snow.

Here's some categories of winter urban residents:

The elderly, the handicapped -- those few who really can't (and shouldn't!) shovel. Usually we mistake them for simply lazy, since in the urban wasteland it's easy for them to slide unseen into anonymity. Hopefully someone notices when they die.

Renters rarely shovel (I was once a renter, and no, I didn't shovel either). They figure it's their landlord's job, and the landlord usually can't be bothered since he or she doesn't live there. Renters are sometimes repaid with icy front stairs that resemble slides.

Corporate renters are a mixed bag. Some don't shovel because they figure if they work in a suit it's not their problem to do some manual labor to make it easy for clients to get to them -- like the Chase Bank down the street.

Yuppie Drivers can't be bothered to shovel their sidewalks, because they don't walk anywhere. They just go out their backdoors straight into a garage, and drive where they want to go in their 4x4 SUVs. They wonder why anyone complains, because obviously the snow will melt eventually, right? They justify not shoveling with urban legends of lawsuits aimed at those who shovel imperfectly. These are the same people who don't want their taxes to pay for public transportation, because they haven't figured out that they don't really want to share the road with the rest of us every morning.

The Lazy spread salt everywhere, sending it into our water systems, rivers, and lakes. Buy a shovel and get some exercise!

Dibbers are too busy shoveling the street to claim a parking space by dumping junk in it to be bothered with the sidewalk. If you've ever wanted to steal lawn chairs or broken tables, just cruise around after a snowstorm. In my opinion, people who do this should be fined double if they don't clear their sidewalk first, because they clearly have the time and energy to shovel something.

Wannabe Neighbors shovel one thin line through the snow, enough for one person to walk one foot right in front of the other (think Catherine Zeta-Jones in the opening scene for Chicago). Well... it's better than nothing, I suppose.